Defining: rage

rage (rāj) – Noun

  1. A mystical malicious entity, proficient in inducing wild bursts of anger and destructive urges in its victim’s. Historically recorded in the ‘death rage’ of dying gladiators in Colosseum Games, it has been given a larger foothold with recent technological advances allowing a human to die a non-fatal death in video games, increasing the time span rage may effect someone, beyond that experienced by physically dying gladiators.
  2. Rage promotes strange self destructive actions in its victims, regularly constricted to bashing and destroying input devices and LCD monitors of home computer systems.
  3. Victims have been recorded to have greater sensitivity to being controlled by rage when a virtual confrontation has been lost, and their (regularly affected by rage) subconscious expects enemy fowl play.
  4. Rage has a greater effect on persons with experience and a veteran status due to covert rage agents infiltrating newb brains, and allowing them to have short bursts of deadliness resulting in a veterans death. This increases rage’s foothold on key persons, and so further its goals of ultimate control.
  5. Rage can be vaccinated by hard reprogramming of victims mind. A successful attempt of back rolling the victims mind to the euphoric state of casual newbism is the best known method to combat rage. Even though the utter essence of the victims life has been taken, the victim will now save money with not having to buy a new headset and keyboard after each tournament.
  6. Rage is very capable in third world countries with disgraceful line speeds. This is due to the large amount of unprecedented disconnects experienced by affected persons. Being disconnected from a battle results in discussed destructive patterns, with the addition of cursing corporate telecommunication giants (a more constant but less serious form of rage may also be induced by the ‘lag’ phenomena).
  7. Rage is suppressed to a less visible state when in the physical company of other veterans, such as a event that is socially referred to as a ‘LAN’, yet the mental effects persist, thus only keeping the victim from not being embarrassed and potentially keeping private property in a functional condition.
  8. Rage likes pie (even though this is not applicable in any sensible way).
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